what my fuckin hole is for

By Joey Polanski

Buddies,

I happily opm my Hole to yas!

Th inauguration o this WordPress blogski marks th closin o Joey’s Back Door ovr on Blogger. I done startd that blog jus fer th purpus o givin readrs o my main blogski — my friggin pride n joy, The Joey Polanski Show — a less restrictd avenue o acsess t me, in case th werd verifickation funcktion at th JPS got bungd up by th ol smenita bug again.

When I opmd Joey’s Back Door, I also shut off th werd verifickation funcktion ovr at th JPS, thinkin Id turn it back on aftr th smenita thing passd. Well, as its turnd out so farski, th JPS aint been getting hit too much wit da ottospamski since I turnd off werd verifickation, so I aint (yet) turnd it back on. That means that th Back Door aint realy been any more “less restrictd” a avenue o acsess t me than th JPS been all em munts since th Back Door been opmd. Also, since I nevr publish my email address (fer reasons I tryd t make clear in my Polanski Show Manifesto), makin th “altrnative” avenue o acsess t me another Blogger blog dont make as much sense as makin it a blogski on some othr servr. I mean, if Bloggers down, fokes cant post coments at th Back Door any moren ey can post ovr at th JPS, right? Hence my Holeski.

Also, I been thinkin I gots t have some place t dump stuff that I think fokes might find intresting & fun, evn tho it aint th kinda jockular jazz that gets playd on th Polanski Show stage. In all onnesty, tho, I gotta figgr anything I post will have — evn if only incidently — some kinda comick value. I mean, I aint intendin th Hole t be a place where I take myself too seriously or nothing.

Furthrmore, Im thinkin Ill probly respond to werfwhile coments left here at th Hole — sompm wich I aint been doin wit coments ovr at th Back Door. Aftr all, what makes bloggin fun is th give & take — th interacktion.

Now, I aint promising t post no more oftn than once a munt. So, if ya wanna be on th safe side, make th first o th munt th day that ya look up Joey’s Hole. That way, ya wont miss none of th good stuff Im puttin out there.

But fer now, git back t where ya realy wanna be!

44 Responses to “what my fuckin hole is for”

  1. Joey Polanski Says:

    See?

    Evn my intrducktory post turnd out friggin rdickulous!

  2. RexTheRunt Says:

    What’s going on in here then? What the…? Who turned out the lights? Hey, someone just goosed me!

  3. anaglyph Says:

    Someone told me there was a party going on over here. Where are the dancing girls? Oooh. Is that onion dip?

  4. amanda Says:

    Hi boys. Someone wann pour me a drink?

  5. marie Says:

    Party party!!! Joey throws the best. Hey – who pinched by butt?

  6. CopperWireBoy Says:

    Hi girls – anyone need their software updated? My hard drive might be able to help…

  7. UpstairsNeighbour Says:

    TURN DOWN THAT MUSIC.

    Friggin’ noisy new neighbour…

  8. NYPD Says:

    OK Polanski. We don’t want no more trouble from you. You can run but you can’t hide. Keep it down or we’re runnin’ you in.

  9. kimberlyann Says:

    Ooooh. Mr policeman… you don’t wanna go disturbing little Joey. I’ll look after him and make sure he doesn’t get up to no good…

  10. Chickie Says:

    Hey, where’s the lube?

  11. Joey Polanski Says:

    I have a feelin Im bein HAZD here.

  12. anaglyph Says:

    Hey, joey! It’s early! Up on the dance floor with Kimberly… or should I say Kim…?

  13. treespotter Says:

    here i come with the gooooose….

    thank fuck it’s friday. have a happy weekend there joey!

  14. Casey Says:

    Don’t worry, we won’t take your hole too seriously either.

  15. jedimacfan Says:

    You should move the JPS to WordPress and stick your hole on Blogger, since Blogger is shitty and that’s kinda what holes are for.

  16. Joey Polanski Says:

    Case: Thats th spirt!

    Jedi: I dunno. Theres a lot o CRAP ovr at th JPS too.

  17. jedimacfan Says:

    Yea, but you can import it all INTO WordPress. You won’t lose a thing!

  18. Joey Polanski Says:

    I think ya may have missd th joke, Jedi. If Bloggr is shitty, then maybe thats where th JPS crap blongs.

    In all seriosness, tho: Migratin to WordPress is a possibility. Undrstandably, WordPress feels quite foreign t me right now; an Ill hafta see if I come to see Bloggr as inferior.

    Fer th time bein, Im happy wit New Bloggr. I might wanna ask you some questions bout WordPress, tho — since yer cnvinced its bettr.

  19. anaglyph Says:

    Can’t post comments on the JPS. Blogger won’t accept my password. Keeps going into a loop of asking for password/wanting Word Verification/then declining password/ wanting Word Verification.

    The last ‘word’ it wanted me to match was ‘dyinghh’ and I think that probably says something.

    And you missed out on a funny poem.

    Blogger is shit.

  20. anaglyph Says:

    WordPress is better.

  21. Joey Polanski Says:

    Hey, Revrend! Thanks fer th heads-up.

    Im kinda gessin that maybe its because New Bloggr is acsessd thru a Google Account & not thru a Ol Bloggr account; & Im also gessin that you been droppin by undr yer Ol Bloggr account.

    DANG! I been a little frustratd wit da shift from Ol Bloggr to New. In fackt, I done got RAILROADd into goin New: I was denyd acsess to my dashbord & one-by-one all o my tricks fer bypassin th roadblock was renderd ineffecktive. I finaly hadta jus switch ovr. Id HATE t think that some o my favorit Bloggin Buddies might be closd outta th JPS jus cause they aint got NEW Bloggr accounts!

    Do me a favr an update me here at th Hole, Revrend. I may, if th problem dont clear up on its own, opn up th JPS to unregisterd comenters.

    An I aint ruld out jumpin to WordPress; but right now I aint sold on its superiority — at least fer those o us who aint inclind to PAY fer an available UPGRADE.

    An I SURE wanna read that funny poemski!

  22. jedimacfan Says:

    I thought I’d move our conversation over here to your hole and not mess up TJPS any more than I already have. Anyway, can you get to http://www.iphoneshots.net? This may help me narrow down the problem. If you can reach that, something’s fucked up at the Fish. If not, I think your ISP might be blocking my site from you. iPS is hosted on the Fish, but it’s got its own domain name.

  23. Joey Polanski Says:

    Thanks fer takin this dialog to th Hole.

    I can access th iPhone site. Still cant access OFaL.

    I made a point o dumpin all temporary intrnet files & cookies & th like. Still nothin.

  24. jedimacfan Says:

    Something is fucked up on the Fish. I just lost all my Red Herring capabilities on the side bar. It’s like someone is logged in and messing around or something. I’m trying to fix it but I am baffled. Maybe it’s a sign for me to quit blogging :(

  25. jedimacfan Says:

    I think something is broken in my theme. It’s set to the default theme for WordPress right now, see if it works.

  26. jedimacfan Says:

    I got the regular theme working for me again, with Red Herring showing up. Geez what a mysterious bug. Seemed to be related to the comments page. Something wrong there. I uploaded a backup copy from June this year and seems to be okay. Can you view it now?

  27. jedimacfan Says:

    I disabled the movie player plugin. See if it works. I dunno why that would be the problem, though, since you can view TCA okay (Anaglyph uses the same plugin) and you viewed the Stephen Colbert one okay, right?

  28. jedimacfan Says:

    Which version of IE? Did you upgrade to IE7 or Vista recently?

  29. jedimacfan Says:

    The media player plugin is still uninstalled. You may have to empty your IE cache and history one more time.

  30. jedimacfan Says:

    I am out of ideas, other than to say that you need to drop that shitty MSN Browser asap and get a real one :) I like Safari, but I’m biased.

  31. jedimacfan Says:

    It will show that color simply because it’s in your History files. It has nothing to do with you being able to go or not.

  32. jedimacfan Says:

    I didn’t change anything yesterday other than those video posts. I took off the Apple posts, try it again and see if it works now. Again, you may try to clear your cache. See? You need a mac after all.

  33. jedimacfan Says:

    I don’t give free Macs to people who don’t use email and insist on sending messages through blogs :) I dunno why it doesn’t work, dude. I am totally clueless. I took down the only change that I made.

  34. jedimacfan Says:

    I’ll keep working on trying to fix it

  35. jedimacfan Says:

    If it works for everyone else, and removing the flash movie player plugin doesn’t help, you can view the iPhoneShots web site, AND it works for you in FireFox, then something has to be jacked up with your MSN browser. Have you tried to reinstall it?

  36. jedimacfan Says:

    I hate to lose your patronage, but I think there is little more I can do. I seriously have no idea what is wrong.

  37. jedimacfan Says:

    Have you tried manually typing in the URL and not just clicking within TJPS?

  38. jedimacfan Says:

    Two things:

    (1) Dyou know why, way back when, th look of TCA was all smashd up when viewed in IE, but fine when viewd in FF? I mean, dyou know what th Revrend was doin when th look was fuckd up, and what he done to make it right?

    (2) Im a-gonna opn up IE — th regallr IE browsr (not MSN Explorer) — and see if I can access OFaL THAT way. Ill report in a bit.

    TCA was messed up due to incompatibilities with how IE renders CSS. I never saw his code, but mine had the same type of issue. I fixed mine by removing some incompatible code, but he seemed to switch his when he moved over to his new purple theme. But you can’t access the site at ALL, which makes no sense whatsoever.

    What version of Windows and what version of IE do you have?

  39. jedimacfan Says:

    I can’t even download and install MSN Explorer to test it out because you have to be a member and FUCK that. Something is jacked in your browser. Maybe because I wrote about Macs it’s punishing us? Bastard. Or maybe a Cashound is behind this conspiracy…

    Too bad you are on dial up, because reinstalling may help. Seems like there might be a corrupt file being saved somewhere in your temp files or something.

    IE7 sucks, but it’s better than MSN Explorer.

  40. jedimacfan Says:

    Yes, I was having some issues but I think they are now resolved. I tried to install an Avatar plugin for WP that would let people have photos, like in Blogger, but that fucked up ALL kinds of stuff so I had to repair the damage.

    I’m sorry we’ve been going round and round over this, but I am completely stumped. I’d have to see your computer in person at this point, but I’m not driving back out to Nebraska :)

    FF does indeed render things differently sometimes. All the colors of my site are messed up in Windows and FF. They always look darker than they are. Have you ever tried Safari? It’s free and should run faster than MSN E, IE, or FF anyway.

  41. jedimacfan Says:

    http://www.apple.com/safari/

  42. jedimacfan Says:

    Just out of curiosity, have I set a new record for most posts ever on a Polanski post?

  43. jedimacfan Says:

    Okay, Joseph, I took out the QuickTime plugin, too. Now there is NOTHING different than the old days. No video plugins AT ALL. And it better goddamn work.

  44. jedimacfan Says:

    I “fixed” your comment, Michelle-ski

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