bookmarks

Buddies,

I like bookmarks. Not th little collecktion o intrnet tabs ya use to find yer favorit websites quickly, — I mean th things ya use t mark yer page in a bookski. Bookmarks — got it? BOOKMARKS! I like em.

As you can imagine, this makes me a pretty easy prson t shop for at Christmas time. I mean: Bookmarks is a pretty inexpensive gift, ainit? Course, my friens dont blieve me when I tell em how much I like bookmarks. They thinks that jus me sayin, “Oh, dont spend no money on a present fer me!” An since they dont wants t apear cheapski, they go ahead n buy me sompm else fer Christmas. An that aint so bad, really, cause mosta my friens also know how much I like t drink coffee. So they buy me lotsa coffee cups. Only problem is: Now I got a friggin shitload o HOLLYDAY coffee sups! Get it? Christmas gift = Christmas cup. If my friens are gonna keep givin me coffee cups insteada bookmarks, then I wish a few ubm woud gimme a EVRYDAY cup onct in a while.

But Im a-spposta be tellin ya bout my love fer bookmarks. I got lotsa books, an I got lotsa bookmarks. Only one o th bookmarks I got was bought fer me. A lady friend o mine took a trip to Orlando Florda, n she brought me back a bookmark that aint got nothin t do wit Orlando Florda, cept that she bought it at DisneyWerld an she also writ on it how much she wishd I was there too. Th bookmarks gots Winnie th Pooh & Piglet on it, an it says “It’s so much friendlier with two” on it. Its made outta that real thin plasticky stuff that probly cant be rippd. (I aint tryd t rip it yet.) It also gots a little turquoise tassl made outta yarn tied onto it.

I got this book from 1892 thats got real heavy pages wit gilt edges. I put that bookmark in that book n considr that its home. I mean: I woont put that bookmark in no othr book now. Book & bookmark is now a set.

N evr since then, I got this thing about makin certain bookmarks th bookmarks o certain books. But as I already said, I aint got no othr bookmarks that was sold as bookmarks. Mosta my othr bookmarks is th bookmarks that are jus givd to ya when you purchase books at a bookstore. And I dont buy a lotta NEW books, so I aint talkin bout bookmarks from Borders or Barnes & Noble. Im talkin bout bookmarks from local used-book sellrs. Em bookmarks tend t have lotsa charackter! Somtimes they is special ockaision bookmarks — hollyday bookmarks, or annivrsary bookmarks — an it gets real easy to associate them bookmarks wit da books ya bought on em special ockaisions. Also, EVRY used-book sellr has a sleepy ol cat on th premises, a-keepin th mice in check (mmm hmmm!), & em bookmarks oftn have a pitchr o th official bookstore cat on em. N even when th bookmarks emselfs aint got nothin special bout em, they can become special because o little scribblins that accumulate on em.

I got TONS o them kindsa bookmarks; n they all got special books that theyr stuck in.

More recently, tho, I been makin special bookmarks o my ownski. I become kinda obsessd wit dsignin th perfeckt bookmark. Th perfeckt bookmark shoud be one that keeps markin th page in a book evn when yer atchualy readin th book. You know, wit a normal bookmark — like th plastick one wit da trquoise tassl — when ya pick up th book & start readin it, ya opm it up to th markd page an ya take th bookmark out n set it aside until yer ready t put th book down an need it t mark th page again. Somtimes I change locations while Im readin, so if I took th bookmark outta th book when I startd, it might not be nearby when Im ready t put th book down. So I want bookmarks thatll stay in th book evn when Im readin it.

So I startd makin bookmarks that hook on to th top a th markd page. Initially I startd makin em outta them bookmarks I was gettin from th used-book sellrs. Id take one o them & Id make near th bottm end a kinda archd cut wit a razr blade. Then Id fold down th bulk o th bookmark so that th tab thats formd by th archd cut will stick up, an what had been th bottom end o th bookmark now forms th bit thatll hook on to th top o th markd page. Th bulk o th bookmark now hangs bhind th markd page. This dsign has a pculiar advantage: If th book is lyin flat wit da front covr up, if you slide yer fingr down th tab that sticks up outta th top end o th book, yer fingrsll slide right onto th markd page; an if th book is lyin flat wit da back covr up, if you slide yer fingr down that tab, youll end up grabbin th markd page, & when ya opm th book, th hook on th bookmark will cause it to opn up to th markd page.

My latest dsign, tho, involves two strips o stiff papr — bofe of equal widt, but one slightly longr than th othr. I bend th shortr one to form th “hook.” Then I glue th longr one onto th back o th shortr one, wif th ends o th longr one matchin up zackly wit th ends o th shortr one. Since th longr ones longr, itll have a longr hook; & since its glued ovr th shortr one, part of it will form th “tab” thatll always be stickin up outta th book. This dsign has th advantage o bein stiff & sturdy enough to hook onto sevral pages at once — maybe evn a whole chaptrs werf o pages — so that when ya get to th end o a pair o facin pages, alls ya gotta do is lift th bookmark up slightly, turn th page, n then hook th bookmark back on. Th bulk o th bookmarkll be hangin down at th end o th chapter. Only th short end o th hook is on th page yer readin.

Prhaps I like bookmarks a bit too much.